And this is how I really feel!
in 2004
An Ancient Drug
You and your
attentions are like a drug to me.
I am in awe at the feelings that have surged to the surface that I thought were
gone forever.
I didn’t expect this to happen.
I didn’t want this to happen… I didn’t want to feel anything ever again.
I don’t want to hurt again.
And now you have opened a can of worms.
I am so scared to feel anything.. I know where it can lead.
And I am so gullible and trusting I believe everyone is as open and candid and
honest about why they say and do the things that they say and do as I am ...So
I end up trusting everyone....Until they prove me wrong..
I had pushed out of my mind how wonderful it can feel to have someone care for
me.
To invoke those electrifying feelings physically and mentally by a look.
Not even having to touch, just a look, a smile, a wink.
But when they do…..
Feeling that satisfying drugged feeling.
That tingle of excitement…..
To anticipate time spent together and to have them constantly in my mind..
Wondering what they are thinking
Wondering what they are feeling..
Wondering if they are as consumed with me
In their thoughts as I am with them in mine.
It is a drug..
And I have tasted and I want more..
Don’t do this to me “for a fling”
Don’t do this to me because it builds your ego
Don’t do this to me just because it makes boring days go by with excitement..
Do this because what you say and act like you are feeling is real..
And has a decent future
I don’t deserve to hurt so you can feel good.
It is really an OLD drug..
And I thought I had become immune to it, or wise about it..
I was wrong..
Tell me my Horoscope was wrong today when it said
“Someone is trying to pull the wool over your eyes “
Wake up and get with reality.
See people for who they are and what they really want
Quit dreaming all those romantic dreams..
Life is harsher than you think!
So do me a favor- examine your heart?
And decide what your motive is. Is it Pure? Is it Honest? Is it honorable? Is it
real? Is it possible?
And then let me know. –Author known
Listen to:
Celine Dion- All the Way...... If you ask me to.